It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
