I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I just put wine in my tea
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
