I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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