It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
