So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he told me I talked like a deaf person
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
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I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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