I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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