Me too!
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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