what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
