real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
