I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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