Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
