let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
