Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
