he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize