drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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