She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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