We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
