i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
