you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
