It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
