and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So many bounce houses so little time
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
