Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
