did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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