You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
