i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
