i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize