You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize