why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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