This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
