Moan for me like Helen Keller
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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