I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
