So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Houston, we have a blender
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
