so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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