dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
