Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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