Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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