3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Life is so much better after having sex.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
