an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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