I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
