Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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