I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.