I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
