Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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