i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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