we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
