He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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