im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
