My friends, they love my intelligence
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Boobs speak an international language.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
