she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I want is dick and wine.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
