We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
