I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
