I bet he comes in French.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
