guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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