their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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