i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
