I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
