HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize